Birthday Wish #1

Today is April 1. And similar to the 12 Days of Christmas, I believe there should be the 12 Days of Danielle, where I receive presents everyday leading up to the miraculous anniversary of my birth.

Today's gift request is a simple one: squeezable bacon. Because you just never know when you might get a cravin for the bacon. Keep one in your office, your glovebox or at home. Use it as toothpaste! Or shaving cream. It really is the gift that keeps on giving.

Squeez Bacon for only $7.99!

Cool, This is So

I just celebrated my 2* th birthday (a true lady never discloses her age) by downing shots of Patron infused with coffee and eating 1.5 grilled cheese sandwiches at 5:30 a.m. in a Queens diner. Probably the most upscale birthday party I’ve had in a long time.

Anywho, while I had an amazing time this past weekend, I just wanted to call out all of my-so-called-friends for NOT baking me this cake. If any of you people truly knew me and what I really wanted for my b-day, you would have made me this:

Ashamed of yourselves, you all should be.

Baking Directions for Yoda Cake