We like to Pii

I'm speechless.

We have better musical taste than you

Today’s selection was chosen by me, since Olivia is too busy gambling her savings away with her co-workers at Mohegan Sun. You can still field all complaints to her though.

Tokyo Police Club – “Box”

Making You an Offer You Can’t Refuse

Looking for a job? Well, I hear Newsweek is hiring…

The publication offered buyouts to 146 employees last week. And 111 disgruntled employees took them up on that offer, cashing out on up to two years of their salary and health benefits. In order to keep the print wheels rolling, Newsweek will now have to replace their depleted editorial staff, mainly with new hires.

I wonder if they are looking for a full-time blogger…

Over 100 Staffers Leave Newsweek

For Skanks and Saints Alike

Hey Ladies! Are you tired of men staring down your chest when you wear low-cut blouses with plunging necklines? Sick of men whistling at you when you walk down the street in a tube top and pencil skirt? Well, have I got the thing for you – the Winkee!

According to their Web site, the Winkee lets you “go from the boardroom to bodacious, without changing clothes.” It will also increase the productivity of men (or women!) around the office!

It’s simple! Just study this complex instruction page and you’ll soon realize that the Winkee is just a pair of underwear twisted around your bra! And the photo shows a lady wearing a Winkee while praying in church…in church! Well, if God endorses it, than so do I.

The perfect gift for all of your skanky friends!

American Apparel Rips Off Woody Allen, Consumers

Woody Allen is suing American Apparel. And not because they sell socks for $12. Apparently, the company used an image of Woody dressed as a rabbi for his film, “Annie Hall,” in their billboard advertising without his consent. He’s now suing for a cool $10 mil.

As Alvy Singer would say, “I can't get with any religion that advertises in Popular Mechanics.” Or American Apparel for that matter.

Woody Allen sues clothing maker for $10 million

Video of Man's Greatest Disappointments Leads to Victory, sorta

Joe Girardi sure knows how to run a team. He also knows how to work a VCR. In a profile piece in today’s NY Times, Girardi discussed the cunning tactics he used to prepare his team for the season home opener:

“Before Girardi spoke to the team Saturday, he showed a seven-minute videotape. The tape opened with the last game the Yankees played, a 6-4 loss to the Cleveland Indians in the 2007 American League division series. The current Yankees watched Jorge Posada strike out for the final out and then watched the camera shift from one glum Yankee to the next…The tape then showed a scene from “We Are Marshall,” a movie about how the Marshall University football team responded after 75 players and coaches died in a 1970 plane crash. Girardi also included a clip of an American soldier who had lost his eyesight in combat in Iraq speaking to the 2004 United States Olympic basketball team. Despite his accident, the soldier fought to stay in the Army. Girardi said the Yankees were captivated.”

I’d be captivated too if you subjected me to a film where 75 people die and a young man loses an eye within the first seven minutes of footage. Thankfully, fear tactics work with this ball club, as the Yanks won their home opener over the Blue Jays, 3-2.

Girardi Gets an Early Start With the Yanks, a Day Early

We have better musical taste than you

Olivia's pick of the day:
"Hang Them All" by Tapes N' Tapes

Upcoming Shows:
FILLMORE-IRVING PLAZA – April 18 at 8:00 p.m.
MUSIC HALL of WILLIAMSBURG - April 19 at 8:00 p.m.

Reporter analyzes social implications of a mustache; gets drunk on company’s dime

Justin Rocket Silverman is the Carl Bernstein of our generation. His expose in today’s New York Post is a sure bet for the 2008 Pulitzer Prize for investigative journalism. His topic: the sexual appeal of a man with a mustache.

After painstaking research on the topic and growing out his own facial hair, which I’d venture to say took a solid 3 months, Silverman captures his audience with colorful and thought-provoking dialogue, best exemplified by his description of his first joy ride with his newly groomed mustache: “rolling with my boys, we pulled up next to a carfull of serious cuties;” and his description of a woman who rejected him at a bar: “she was a serious hottie.”

But his journalistic excellence really shines through in the accompanying video. Footage that will surely end up in our nation’s capital as a testament to true American journalism during the 21^st century. Silverman goes out on the streets, asking the commoners and plebes before him for their insight on the issue, by asking “what do you think of my mustache?”

Surprisingly, most New Yorkers who Silverman approached on the street didn’t tell him that he looked like a complete asshole. In fact, most complimented him, stating that the ‘stache complemented his facial features. This forces me to believe that there was a whole lot of editing done to this video.

Man grows mustache...or mustache grows man?

Earth Today, Mars 2014

Virgin Group and Google are teaming up to start a human colony on Mars in 2014. Yes, Mars, like the planet and not the delicious candy bar. I find it highly suspicious that they sent out a press release today, on April Fools, but then again, it is Google and they can do whatever the hell they want.

According to Larry Page, co-founder of Google, “we feel that ensuring the survival of the human race by helping it colonize a new planet is both a moral good in and of itself and also the most likely method of ensuring the survival of our best – okay, fine, only -- base of web search volume and advertising inventory,” Page added. “So, you know, it's, like, win-win."

Think you’d like to live in Virgle City, where the planet is run by two mammoth media companies? Sounds pretty similar to Earth, now that I think about. Take this somewhat inappropriate survey to find out if you make the cut for Mars. Apparently, I am not cut out for extraterrestrial voyages, due to the fact that I am “distressingly normal” by Google’s standards. If that's not a slap in the face than I don't know what is.

Live on Mars...for free!