Daily Nuzzo is Back. With a Hangover!

I’m back to blogging, bitches. I know how much you missed me. I was going to throw up my arms and toss my Dell desktop through my bedroom window, never to be heard from again, but I had a change of heart. Upon arriving back at work today, I realized how painful it is to make it through an entire workday without telling complete strangers exactly how I’m feeling. So here I go.

I had a shockingly-good time out in L.A., the under-achieving baby sister of New York. It was less crowded and had more sun. There was slightly more pollution, but only in the form of smog, as opposed to the rotting piles of garbage on the streets that you find here in the ‘Big Dirty.’ I ate good Mexican. I ate hot dogs dressed with bacon, sour cream and relish. I ate garlic fries at Dodgers stadium. I saw an original Space Invader graffiti installation. I went swimming in Hermosa Beach and had my fortune told by Zoltar in Venice Beach. I contemplated getting a tattoo three times. And I survived the California freeway.

Coachella was the highlight of the trip. It was by far the most convenient and well-organized music festival I’ve ever been to, despite being 120 miles away from L.A. in the middle of a godforsaken desert. The temperature reached 104 degrees on Saturday, but in my drunken and exhausted state, I hardly noticed. My favorite sets were Gogol Bordello (best live show I’ve been to), Man Man, MGMT, The Cool Kids, Vampire Weekend, Yelle, Diplo and Animal Collective. Besides a mini-breakdown at the thought of paying $7 for a slice of pizza (American dollars!) best times were had by all.

A big shout-out to Muller and crew for their generous hospitality. I’ve never felt more comfortable crashing in strangers’ beds and couches. And I’ve never drank more Function in my life. I’m still waiting for my lifetime supply to arrive to my doorstep in Queens, Nate.

You can view my pictures of the Voyage out West here.

Also, Pitchfork did a nice write-up of Coachella.

I look forward to doing it all again next year.

Daily Nuzzo Deserves a Break

As some of you may know, I’m taking a business trip out to the West Coast to do some market research on the culture of Californians. Besides their fondness for terrycloth and avocados, I don’t know too much about them. The ideal behind this research is that Daily Nuzzo will eventually have offerings on what to do in a multitude of urban centers, including Miami, Los Angeles, Washington D.C., and Bloomington, IL.

I’ll also be attending the Coachella music festival and will try to remember some portions of those 3 hazy days out in the desert in order to blog about it later. If I were you, I’d check out the official Coachella blog if you want to know what happened. I’m gonna check it when I get back too, so I can also find out what happened.

This will be my last post until Tuesday, April 29 when I may or may not return. In my absence, I’m sure many of you will find other ways to procrastinate during the work day. Some of you may even start a blog of your own, as an act of spite and revenge. But I only ask one thing of you, faithful readers. I ask that you keep the Daily Nuzzo dream alive. Like I said in the beginning, we need page views people, lots of page views! Daily Nuzzo just doesn’t write itself over here…or does it?

We have better musical taste than you.

Olivia’s Song of the Day: Tegan and Sara, “Back in Your Head”

Sorry, but Tegan and Sara are sold out on May 12th at Terminal 5. Check Craigslist. Sucks that we don't have a shot at seeing them. Oh. Wait... I'll experience them live in California next weekend along with 50,000 other people. Maybe Daily Nuzzo can post about it while we're tanning on the beach and sipping on mojitos. No, she’ll probably be too drunk to figure out how to use wireless. I hear she uses dial-up!

Trend Alert: Stupid Sunglasses

It’s 75 degrees out today, which can only mean two things: (1) people are showing more skin than they should; (2) people are wearing stupid sunglasses. I’ve noticed an inordinately large number of people wearing the classic “neon party glasses” (pictured at left), a staple in the 80’s accessories genre and a common party favor at Sweet 16’s, Bar Mitzvahs, Weddings, Funeral and the like.

Is this a new trend? Are these people trying to be hip/ironic by wearing a pair of sunglasses that offers neither UV protection or a sense of style?

Discuss among yourselves.

Daily Nuzzo Tells You What To Do This Weekend

It’s gonna be a great weekend in New York. The weather is beautiful, the Yankees salvaged one from Manny and Co. and it’s my last weekend before the ultimate vacay begins on Monday. It's a celebration, bitches:

Friday
Enjoy the gorgeous weather (78 degrees baby!) by drinking outside. My suggestions are pretty obvious: the Boat Basin on the West side or the Bohemian Beer Hall and Garden, the last original NYC beer garden, located in beautiful Astoria.

After you’re nice and boozed up, go see the live reunion show of our favorite Canadian comedians, The Kids in the Hall. Yes, they are still alive, and they’re playing at Nokia Theatre Times Square all weekend. Purchase tickets here.

Saturday
In a desperate attempt to save the music industry, a slew of record shops across the country will be holding events on Saturday to trick people in actually coming into the store and, perhaps, purchasing an album. If you’re like me, and I’m sure you are, you’re more sentimental about cassette tapes than records, but it’s worth giving it a looksie.

Get all the details on Record Store Day here.

If you are in the NY area, make sure to check these out:

• Regina Spektor is giving a free show at 1:00 p.m. in Brooklyn at Soundfix Records
• Go to Other Music in the East Village from 12:30-5:00 to see members of Tapes ’n Tapes, Black Keys, Deerhunter, Grizzly Bear and Interpol spin tunes.
• And don’t miss the Tapes ‘n Tapes gig later that night at the Music Hall of Williamsburg.

Sunday – 4/20
Get your mind out of the gutter! Well, since you’re already thinking about 420, might as well pick up your Snoop Dogg/311 tickets. The cannibus-encouraging duo will be playing at Coney Island on July 16. Yea, I’ve already got my tickets. They go on sale today…

In celebration of Earth Day on Tuesday, Central Park will be hosting a free concert. Go mingle with other environmentalists freaks and get your carbon offsetting on.

Not sure if you’ve heard, but the Pope is in town. He’ll be delivering a mass at Yankee stadium today, but there’s pretty much no chance in hell that you’re getting tickets. Instead, go drink at Stan’s Sports Bar and try to catch a glimpse of the man in white. Side note: if Benedict knows what’s good for him, he’ll go and bless the new stadium to reverse any possible hex that was placed on it. Just remember, Yankees fans have God on their side.

And This is Why You Never Go Into an Interview Unprepared.

I’ve always liked Christina Ricci but this brings my love for her to an entirely new level: http://gawker.com/5006192/christina-ricci-wishes-you-had-prepared-for-this-interview

Oh, Burn!!!

LaTroy Hawkins Gives the Fans Something Back: #21

I watched the Yankees-Red Sox game last night at Turtle Bay, a disgusting little bar on 52^nd and 2^nd that offers a “Wednesday Night Recession Special” where local drafts are only $1. Needless to say, by the time Yankees relief pitcher LaTroy Hawkins came in during the sixth inning, I had a few beers too many. In fact, I thought I was so drunk that I was seeing things: LaTroy Hawkins was wearing #22 on his uniform.

To those of my readers who are not avid sports fans, Hawkins started a huge controversy in the NY area when he decided to wear #21 to honor Roberto Clemente. #21 belonged to legendary Paul O’Neill, the beloved Yankees right-fielder who retired in 2001. Seven years later, #21 has not been retired but has also not been worn.

When Hawkins first ran out onto the field this season with #21 on his back, fans were horrified and appalled. They booed and chanted Paul O’Neill, as a subtle reminder to Hawkins that he’s playing in St. Paul’s house. O’Neill was cordial, saying he was appreciative of how many fans still associate that number with him but noted that it was weird to see another Yankee player wear it.

After a lot of negative press and surely, a lot of pressure, Hawkins switched his number last night to #22. Donning Roger Clemen’s old number (who misses him anyway?), the switch served him well: he pitched two scoreless innings and earned the win against the Red Sox. And that’s exactly how Paulie would have wanted it.

New Indiana Jones Movie Too Long? Daily Nuzzo's Stance: Not Long Enough.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, set to release this summer, is getting some negative publicity for the fact that it is 140 minutes long. Several reporters are asking if an action movie really needs to be two hours and 20 minutes long.

To be honest, I’m pretty upset that it’s only 140 minutes. How can Indiana Jones 4 be anything under three hours long??? We’ve been waiting for this movie for 19 goddamn years.

Harrison Ford ripped a beating heart out of a man’s chest on-screen, and we’re giving him shit about giving his audience non-stop action for 140 minutes?

Come on people, Mahatma: Life of Gandhi 1869 – 1948 was 330 minutes long and you don’t see film critics giving them crap! And nobody even liked that movie. Seriously.

To the Man With No Pants on the N train...

As if Craigslist Missed Connections (the godfather of legalized stalker sites) wasn’t enough to creep you out, there is now an entire Web site dedicated to finding that ‘total hottie’ you saw on the subway this morning. Behold – Subway Crush.

My favorite thing about these missed connections sites are how vacant and vague the postings always seem to be. It’s like they all share the same pathetic-borderline-pyschotic template:

Subject: To the hottie with the body on the E Train

Me – Black Jacket, Jeans and Sneakers.
You – Red hair, black coat, black boots.

Now, I never ever do this but I figured I’d give it a try! Saw you on the E train this morning and you were reading the paper. Not sure if you saw me, but I think you’re really fly. Email me back if you wanna grab drinks…or something else!!!!

If an online posting is not going to work, then I don’t know what is. Maybe next time you can actually approach this person and speak to them. Or, perhaps, mass transit is not the ideal place to meet a significant other. Call me old fashioned, but I still meet my men just the way I like them – 7 brewskies down and stumbling on the dance floor.