Friday, February 27

How Religion is Going to Ruin My 25th Birthday

My quarter-century celebration is on Easter Sunday this year. At first, I was kind of excited. “Oh, how cute, my birthday is the same day that the Easter Bunny comes and delivers baskets full of candy and eggs filled with money for all the kiddies across the world.” And there was always the prospect of the famed bunny cake – a cake in the shape of a bunny head, which my mom ONLY makes when my birthday coincides with Easter.

But now….I’m PISSED. I just learned that not only is Easter distracting from the real holiday (my birthday) but it is also Passover that weekend too! So now I’m competing with not one, but TWO holidays for the much-deserved attention I need on the first day of the rest of my life.

Screw you, Christianity. And you too, Judaism! I hate you BOTH!