JEWISH "K"NIGHT AT THE KNICKS

Tonight is an important game for the Knicks. Not only because they need to defeat the Nets in order to have ANY shot of the playoffs. Not because it is a Wednesday and Wednesday is the new "Hoop Day." No, my friends. Tonight is important for an entirely different reason...JEWISH HERITAGE NIGHT AT THE GARDEN!

My friends and I secured the highly coveted tickets to tonight's game weeks ago. And according to the Jerusalem Post, "few tickets" are still available for tonight's game, which will feature kosher food and more importantly, a limited-edition tee shirt emblazoned with the team's name in Hebrew.

I'm going to wear this tee shirt every day. Well...most days. Sometimes I'll have to do laundry.

And can anyone explain why David Lee is featured on the poster for Jewish night? I guess since he's white?

I'll report back to the Daily Nuzzo on my findings and provide a summary of my experience at this truly spiritual event.

LaTroy Hawkins Gives the Fans Something Back: #21

I watched the Yankees-Red Sox game last night at Turtle Bay, a disgusting little bar on 52^nd and 2^nd that offers a “Wednesday Night Recession Special” where local drafts are only $1. Needless to say, by the time Yankees relief pitcher LaTroy Hawkins came in during the sixth inning, I had a few beers too many. In fact, I thought I was so drunk that I was seeing things: LaTroy Hawkins was wearing #22 on his uniform.

To those of my readers who are not avid sports fans, Hawkins started a huge controversy in the NY area when he decided to wear #21 to honor Roberto Clemente. #21 belonged to legendary Paul O’Neill, the beloved Yankees right-fielder who retired in 2001. Seven years later, #21 has not been retired but has also not been worn.

When Hawkins first ran out onto the field this season with #21 on his back, fans were horrified and appalled. They booed and chanted Paul O’Neill, as a subtle reminder to Hawkins that he’s playing in St. Paul’s house. O’Neill was cordial, saying he was appreciative of how many fans still associate that number with him but noted that it was weird to see another Yankee player wear it.

After a lot of negative press and surely, a lot of pressure, Hawkins switched his number last night to #22. Donning Roger Clemen’s old number (who misses him anyway?), the switch served him well: he pitched two scoreless innings and earned the win against the Red Sox. And that’s exactly how Paulie would have wanted it.

You Know You're Old When...

You still think that Kids in the Hall are funny. They’re back, bitches. And they’ve got a whole lot of head-crushing to do.

Years ago, my older brother took me to a live show of KITH when they went on tour in NYC. I was inappropriately young and blocked out the majority of their most vulgar (and most hysterical) skits, so I’m looking forward to it the second time around.

Get the dates of their new live shows here.