Monday, March 31

Dear Daily Nuzzo


As a provider of universal truth, I’m somewhat obligated to provide occasional guidance to my wayward and somewhat ignorant audience. Therefore, I’ve created a dedicated column for this exact purpose. I welcome you to the first installment of ‘Dear Daily Nuzzo.’

Dear Daily Nuzzo,
I’ve come across an ethical dilemma. I was riding on the subway the other day, and in comes a woman – cute, young, and slight bulge in lower belly. Do I assume this woman is pregnant and jump up to give her my seat and risk offending a nice girl who has been filling in a void in her life with girl scout cookies? Or do I remain seated, taking the chance of forcing a mother-to-be to stand?

Dear Commuter,
Full disclosure: I’m a strong believer in chivalry. In my opinion, all able-bodied men should give up their seat for a lady, so I don’t think it would be rude if you did. She just might think that you’re hitting on her, which you probably are anyway. So win-win.

Otherwise, I’d look for a wedding ring. If she’s wearing one, it’s a good possibility that she is indeed pregnant. And even if she’s not pregnant, she probably has to go home to a husband that doesn’t fully appreciate her inner beauty– so you giving up a seat for her could be the highlight of her day, or even her week. But please, pleas refrain from asking her how many months along she is.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is terrible advice. I've been pregnant dozens of times and I'm not married, never have been.

Anonymous said...

D,

I have a question for "your readers" that we touched upon last nite...At what age should women realistically stop having kids? Ed. Note: the misinformed, short-sighted or uneducated need not respond.

Anonymous said...

Your reply from anonymous addressed to "D" is pretty pompus. You think your education makes you "all that"?

I know "uneducated" people that I would entrust a child with over many educated persons I know. This person obviously has much to learn from life in general.

Olivia said...

Can we start putting names on our posts?

Seriously people, what are you hiding from?