Reporter analyzes social implications of a mustache; gets drunk on company’s dime

Justin Rocket Silverman is the Carl Bernstein of our generation. His expose in today’s New York Post is a sure bet for the 2008 Pulitzer Prize for investigative journalism. His topic: the sexual appeal of a man with a mustache.

After painstaking research on the topic and growing out his own facial hair, which I’d venture to say took a solid 3 months, Silverman captures his audience with colorful and thought-provoking dialogue, best exemplified by his description of his first joy ride with his newly groomed mustache: “rolling with my boys, we pulled up next to a carfull of serious cuties;” and his description of a woman who rejected him at a bar: “she was a serious hottie.”

But his journalistic excellence really shines through in the accompanying video. Footage that will surely end up in our nation’s capital as a testament to true American journalism during the 21^st century. Silverman goes out on the streets, asking the commoners and plebes before him for their insight on the issue, by asking “what do you think of my mustache?”

Surprisingly, most New Yorkers who Silverman approached on the street didn’t tell him that he looked like a complete asshole. In fact, most complimented him, stating that the ‘stache complemented his facial features. This forces me to believe that there was a whole lot of editing done to this video.

Man grows mustache...or mustache grows man?